It might not be Friday morning, but that is not going to stop me from rambling my face off about all things Cubs and Spring Training. A lot has happened at Camp Quade over the past few weeks, so it is time to dive into it all.
So, without further ado … let’s ramble:
- First and foremost, my thoughts and prayers go out to ex-Cubs Luis Salazar and his family. I hope he is okay and recovers as quickly as possible.
- So, let me now get this straight … Carlos Silva is relying on Carlos Zambrano for anger issues. Oh … yeah … this has got “great idea” written all over it.
- This relationship reminds me of the old Saturday Night Live commercial “Bad Idea Jeans.” Because that is what it is … “Bad Idea Jeans.”
- So, um, Matty G., how about you stop scaring the living “you-know-what” out of me and my fellow Cubs fans? Okay. Cool. We have a deal?
- Seriously, dude, it is not really funny.
- I have Adonis DNA.
- I am not LOL’ing of LMAO’ing. Okay? Quit it.
- Do you remember when you were young and your parents or guardians had the conversation with you about “guilt by association?” Someone explained to you that you might be innocent or in the right, but if you associate with the wrong person or a group of shady people, others will assume you are doing bad things.
- Yea, I think someone needs to have that talk with Marlon Byrd.
- I don’t care if it’s all legal. It is a terrible idea. Just wait until Byrd hits 20 homeruns by the end of May and is batting .330. That should really draw the ire of the Haughs, Tellendars, and Morriseys.
- And hitting .650 in Spring Training doesn’t help.
- Is there a more likeable person on the Cubs than Ryan Dempster? Seriously, he is just great.
- I have tiger blood.
- If you haven’t seen his “Chris Farley impression” on Baseball Tonight, search high and low on the interwebs and be sure to watch it. Absolutely fantastic stuff. (Ed. note: or scroll down for the Dempster video)
- I am sappy and sentimental. Very much so. My friends make fun of me a lot for it. Some females even make fun of me for it. But if you are not emotionally happy that Kerry Wood is back, there is no Cub blue in your heart or soul.
- I was kidding. No one has ever made fun of me for being sappy or sentimental. I am a tough, awesome guy.
- So when does Mt. Saint Zambrano erupt? What month? Anyone want to put a date on it? Let me know your thoughts below. I will say June 29th.
- Seriously, you know it is going to happen, so you should go on the record with a guess below. It will be a fun CCO game. So, let’s play.
- Alfonso Soriano said he feels great and might play beyond this contract.
- Yep, and Brooklyn Decker just said she is leaving Andy Roddick for me.
- Also, I no longer enjoy cheese, television, TiVo, beer or thongs. (ESPN scribe Rick Reilly deserves credit for first writing about some of the things on this list of favorites.)
- Unless he is hitting above .290 and the Cubs are contending, there is absolutely no reason Fukudome should be starting over Colvin by the All-Star game.
- I hope Castro’s start this spring will carry over the regular season. He has the most at-bats on the team and a .400 avg.
- Still #WINNING.
Well, that is it for today. I hope you enjoyed and look forward to hearing everyone thoughts on Zambrano’s first breakdown and all other things Cubs.
For those partaking, please be safe while celebrating St. Patrick’s Day weekend in wherever you may be.
And until next time …
Stay Classy Cubs Fans!!
Ryan Dempster with his best Chris Farley