You Too Can Be a Major League Pitcher

“Sometimes you just have to tip your cap.”

As a Cubs’ fan I recall hearing Harry’s grandson utter this phrase way too often in reference to another dominating performance from the opposition’s starting pitcher. Two full seasons have gone by and the only change is that these words are now coming out of Len Kasper’s mouth. I even heard Derrek Lee say it a few weeks ago. My problem is that this phrase is not being used to describe Roy Oswalt, Pedro Martinez, Chris Carpenter, John Smoltz, Barry Zito, Jason Schmidt, Tom Glavine or Ben Sheets. No, it has been used in the past few seasons to describe Ryan Vogelsong, Doug Davis and Kyle Lohse. More recently it was used in honor of Nick Masset, B.K. Kim and Jorge Sosa.

NICK MASSET….Are you kidding me? I brought a good buddy to the Cubs/Sox series finale. He happens to be a White Sox fan and told me that he wanted a refund policy because there was no way Masset would make it out of the 2nd inning. Oh, yee of little faith. I told him how the Cubs make any journeyman middle reliever look un-hittable as they eventually did that day. Someone needs to explain to me how this happens….over and over and over and over. Is it mental? Is there a lack of preparation due to the reputation? What is it?

I have sat and watched the Cubs hammer Ben Sheets and Roy Oswalt. I witnessed a Mark Buerhle massacre last season at Wrigley. The Cubs have teed off against some of the most expensive and valuable arms in the league, but when it comes to one off the scrap heap, it is over before it even started. I sat at Wrigley Monday afternoon and obviously forgot what Cubs team I was watching. B.K. Kim was unstoppable. Here is a man who has been traded more often than Lindsay Lohan gets arrested, but the Cubs could not touch him.

‘”Byung-Hyun Kim, you tip your cap to him, but you kind of get tired of tipping your hat every night,” said DeRosa.

The talk of him being the “closer of the future” has ended and he is at best serviceable, unless on the mound against the Cubs. Time after time, pitchers who Santo has “never even heard of” stroll to the mound at 1060 W. Addison to shut down and many times even shut out the Cubs.

You know I am right; you have had the same thoughts. So, with that said, what is stopping any of us from making an attempt at pro baseball. Heck, Disney made a movie with this premise, so it has to be feasible. Find your old glove, freshen it up with a little oil and tie up the shredded laces on your 12 year old cleats. Well you might need new ones as they only play with metal in “The Show.” Anyway, you get my point. I think back to some of the Cubs journeymen and feel bad they never had a chance to face their own team. Just think what Heathcliff Slocum or Chuck McElroy could have done for the opposition. Jeff Pico may have won a Cy Young award, and Mike Harkey could have truly been the next best thing.

Feel free to contact me at [email protected] and until next time….

Stay Classy Josh Fogg

Quote of the Day

"Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere." - Albert Einstein