My Best David Letterman

With the Cubs Convention taking place this weekend, I thought I would focus on what one may or may not hear while traversing the halls, banquet rooms and watering holes at the Chicago Hilton and Towers. With thousands of fans and dozens of ex-players, current coaches and Cubs legends expected, the weekend promises to be a fun-filled “quote-fest.”

Now, from the home office in Lake Zurich, IL, the top ten things one will hear and the top ten things one will not hear this weekend at the Cubs Convention.

Top then things that will be heard at the Convention

10. “LLLLLOOOOOUUUUUU!!!”

9. “I totally think the Cubs have a chance this year. I mean, St. Louis is worse, Houston is okay, we will clean up the Brewers and Pittsburgh is still awful.

8. “Mr. Grace, Can I have your autograph?” “Mr. Grace, Can I have your autograph?” “Mr. Grace, Can I have your autograph?” “Mr. Grace, Can I have your autograph?” “Mr. Grace, Can I have your autograph?” “Mr. Grace, Can I have your autograph?” “Mr. Grace, Can I have your autograph?” “Mr. Grace, Can I have your autograph?” “Mr. Grace, Can I have your autograph?”, you get the point. Welcome back Gracie!!

7. “I will tell you what, Dawson got screwed again. He was an MVP on a last place team, you know he got screwed….ADMIT IT, he got screwed.

6. “Soriano, Lee, A-Ram, that’s 140 HR’s. Don’t kid yourself, Soriano could hit fifty, easy!”

5. “Hey buddy, Jay Johnstone is around the corner, do you want to get his autograph?” In response, “Hold on man, I am in line to get Tim Stoddard’s right now.” (No, I am not kidding, this will really happen.)

4. “I need two beers, one for myself and one for Bob Dernier, alright, make that two each.”

3. “Go Cubs go, Go Cubs go, hey Chicago whatta ya say, the Cubs are going to win today! Go Cubs go, Go Cubs go….etc….”

2. “Mr. Hendry, you are the greatest!”

1. “Ronny, Ronny, Ronny, Ronny, Ronny, Ronny, Ronny, Ronny, Ronny, Ronny, Ronny, Ronny, Ronny, Ronny, Ronny, Ronny, Ronny, Ronny, Ronny, Ronny!!!!”

Top Ten Things that will NOT be heard at the Cubs Convention

10. “Hold up man, seriously wait up, Andy MacPhail is walking this way, and I really want to meet him.”

9. “Man, I really hope we pull off a repeat of the ’06 season that would be real nice!”

8. “I really think Prior deserves that raise, he did win one game last year, I truly think he earned it.”

7. “I hated Jody Davis, he was awful.”

6. “Bringing back the ball girls would be really stupid. I never thought those girls were a good idea and neither did anyone else. They never got any media attention and Harry never once mentioned them.”

5. “Where have you gone Neifi Perez?”

4. “I think we got hosed in the DeJesus for Sandberg trade!”

3. “What do you think of the off-season the White Sox have had? Do you think they will be any good this season?”

2. “I really miss Dusty, I really do, I wish we did not fire him.” (Editor’s note: Don’t read into this too much, I am just saying, I doubt that phrase will be uttered this weekend.)

1. “I am so mad right now, in fact I am inconsolable, I cannot believe the Rangers beat us to Sosa. He is in the prime of his career and could do a lot for this team.”

Please feel free to add your own to the list as it is a rather enjoyable exercise. The 22nd Annual Cubs Convention promises to be a great weekend full of memorable events, great company and multiple chances to meet your childhood hero. Thanks for reading, feel free to contact me at brian@chicagocubsonline.com, and until next time….

Stay Classy Cubs Fans!

A Photo Gallery from the 2006 Cubs Convention

Quote of the Day

"A day without laughter is a day wasted." - Charlie Chaplin

Share on Fancred