I am an avid reader of Bill Simmons, the “Sports Guy” on Page 2 of ESPN.com. Beyond simply being a great writer who combines sports and pop culture in a revolutionary way, he delivers day in and day out. Some of Simmon’s most entertaining articles capture his stream of consciousness in the form of ‘ramblings’. Bill shares his thoughts in quick and witty form. I thoroughly enjoy these and am presenting my first attempt at this writing style, ‘Ramblings from Wrigleyville’.
– Dusty HAD to know what Barry was doing. No one gains 25 pounds of muscle in the off-season….and in his mid 30’s? But, you know what, I don’t blame him
– I have a feeling that we are all wrong about Jacque Jones.
– At the same time, I think we may be a little too excited about Juan Pierre.
– Is there anyway that Derrek Lee is not the next HUGE star in the MLB? Seriously, quiet, respectful and excited, he has it written all over him.
– At what point of the year does Greg Maddux ask Wood and Prior, “Seriously, you guys are really hurt? I have not been hurt in 20 years, what the hell?”
– I cannot wait to see the new Jenny Craig commercial where Carlos Zambrano teaches Kirstey Alley how to say “No more nachos,” in Spanish. Seriously, that dude is thin. Maybe it was just all that typing.
– Is there anyway A-Ram’s groin makes it through April in Chicago?
– Jerome Williams is young, I hope we hold on to this guy.
– When does Glendon Rusch’s deal with the devil run out? I mean, come on, two whole years as an above average pitcher. Does anyone else remember when we put up nine runs in the first inning against this guy?
– I really don’t like Tony LaRussa.
– Thome will be on the DL by May, don’t worry.
– Albert Pujols is the new Brett Favre in Chicago. I really wish he was on the Cubs and it is hard to hate him. Still hate LaRussa.
– Does anyone else want to play softball with Sarah Wood and Heather Prior as much as I do? (Editor’s note: I went to High School with Sarah Wood, and she is one of the nicest people in the world, seriously)
– You heard it here first, Len Kasper will say the following to Bob Brenly, “I can’t believe they pay you that much to do nothing.”
– Regarding broadcasters, is any broadcaster more of a homer than Ron Santo? This NEEDS to happen in his lifetime, no one, NOT ONE person would be happier than he would!
– Speaking of broadcasters, I really miss Steve Stone. He is the most knowledgeable broadcaster out there. Sure Harold Reynolds is smart, but Stone called every single pitch before it was thrown….he was wrong once a month!
– There is no feasible way I can listen to “Journey” anymore. Furthermore, has anyone ever been more out of place than Steve Perry at the World Series?
– The Cubs remind me of the WWE (formerly the WWF). They trick you into thinking they will pull off the biggest upset ever, then the Cardinals execute the “Stone Cold Stunner” out of nowhere and it is over before it started.
– Is anyone cooler than Ryan Dempster? He runs around bars in his underwear, pounds Coors light, and cracks jokes at every opportunity.
– My buddy Craig thinks Kerry Wood is going to win 23 games this year.
– Right here, right now, Mark Prior wins the Cy Young award!
– Speaking of Prior, does anyone else get the feeling he wants to go postal on the media when they ask if his allergies will affect his pitching?
– Michael Barrett will be on the All-Star team.
– Am I the only person who would pay $100 for ten minutes with Pat Hughes?
– If the Cubs go to the playoffs and I have to watch camera shots of John Cusack for two innings at a time, I am going to throw up in my mouth.
– If the Cubs go to the playoffs and I have to watch camera shots of Joan Cusack for two innings at a time I am going to throw up in mouth.
– If the Cubs go to the playoffs and I have to watch camera shots of Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich for two innings at a time, I am going to throw up in my mouth.
– If the Cubs go to the playoffs and I have to watch camera shots of Bill Murray and Jim Belushi, I will be perfectly happy, in fact, I may get excited. That is Chicago, not some sister of an actor hawking cell phones.
– Speaking of Belushi, I really wish Chris Farley was still alive. I laughed when that guy breathed.
– Speaking of being alive, my brain explodes when I imagine Harry Caray broadcasting the Bartman game. “Some dork with headphones just stopped the Cubs from going to the World Series!”
– I hope the Cubs make Santo the daily Seventh Inning Stretch Guy.
– Still hate La Russa, actually I hate him more.
– If you do not believe in Karma, just ask Barry Bonds or Mark McGwire how they feel?
– Speaking of that, I don’t believe cork does anything. I don’t believe he grabbed the wrong bat, but I don’t think he did it more than five times….ever.
– Ronny Cedeno is a gold glove nominee in two years.
– Todd Walker, Neifi Perez and Jerry Hairston. One accomplished major league player with a .300 average and two journeymen. Am I the only one who is confused by this issue?
Well, those are my thoughts, some of them at least, many I cannot publish. I hope you enjoyed them, there are many more to come. If you have a rambling, a random thought, or something you just want to say, feel free to email me at [email protected] Thanks for reading, I really hope you enjoyed it, and until next time….
Stay Classy Cubs Fans.